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* Part -1- *           The Origin of Captain Marlboro
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    One fine day while these two people were touring the Alamo's basement,
the woman of the two went into labor and had her baby.  This baby was named
Sue Alexander Marlboro, Marlboro being the family's name.  Shortly there-
after, his parents died and he was left on his lonesome out in the middle of
nowhere, somewhere in Texas.  After many months, he was found by some ranchers
who were running a cattle drive.  They took him in and fed him.
    After some time, he began to show a certain afinity for the marlboro
brand of cigarettes and started smoking at the age of 2.  The rancers kept
him and he grew up among them.  Years passed, and so did many incidents,
which may be mentioned at a later date.
    As time went on, Marlboro grew, and when he turned 16, his foster family
came to speak with him.
    "Son, your not our son. We found you when you were but a waife and we
took you in.  These things here," he gives Marlboro a bundle of things,
"where what we found with you." Says his foster-father.
    "You think I don't know that?  I know that!" Looking at everyone else,
Marlboro says, "Is it me?  It's him right?  Why don't you quit being so
defensive!"  He then takes the bundle of stuff and wanders off, lighting up
a cigarette and saying to himself, "Sue Alexander Marlboro?!?  Damn!  What a
name!"
    Two more years went by, and in that time, Marlboro had turned 18, knocked
up every girl in his school, and learned how t make boots.
    At this point he disappeared.  Some experts say he went south and spent
the 5 missing years in a small hut off lake Titi-Caca (sp?), where he
perfected his patented, registered, copy-righted, Trade-marked, 'Shit Kicker
Boots'(C)(TM)(R)(PatPend), and also to on the first name of Captain.
    Upon his re-appearance, he went straight to the patents office in
Washington and copy-righted, ect... the phrase "Kick the shit out of...(C)"
and all derivitives there of.

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* End of Part -1- *
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