COMPUTER JOB DESCRIPTIONS
DATA PROCESSING MANAGER;
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
 is more powerful than  locomotive,
  is faster than a speeding bullet,
   walks on water,
    gives policy to God.
ASST. DATA PROCESSING MANAGER;
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
 is more powerful than a switch engine,
  is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
   walks on water (if the sea is calm),
    talks with God.
SENIOR SYSTEMS ANALYST;
Leaps short buildings (with a running start and favorable winds),
 is almost as powerful as a switch engine,
  is faster than a speeding BB,
   walks on water (in an indoor pool),
    talks with God (if a special request is approved).
SYSTEMS ANALYST;
Barely clears a quonset hut,
 loses tug of war with locomotive,
  can fire a speeding bullet,
   swims well,
    is occasionally addressed by God.
LEAD PROGRAMMER;
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings,
 is run over by a locomotive,
  can sometimes handle a gun (without inflicting self-injury),
   dog paddles,
    talks to animals (for advice),
SENIOR PROGRAMMER;
Runs into buildings,
 recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times,
  is NOT issued ammunition,
   can stay afloat (with a life jacket),
    talks to walls (and waits for an answer).
MAINTENANCE PROGRAMMER;
Falls over doorstep when entering buildings,
 says "look at the choo choo",
  wets himself with a water pistol,
   mumbles to himself.
PROGRAMMER;
Lifts buildings and walks under them,
 kicks locomotives off the tracks,
  catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats then,
   freezes water with a single glance,
    he is God.