A LONG TIME AGO... ON A NODE FAR, FAR
AWAY (FROM PDPVAX).....

XXXXX   XXXXXX   XXXX   *      X    X    XX    XXXXX    XXXX      X
X    X  X       X    X         X    X   X  X   X    X  X          X
X    X  XXXXX   X              X    X  X    X  X    X   XXXX      X
X    X  X       X              X XX X  XXXXXX  XXXXX        X     X
X    X  X       X    X         XX  XX  X    X  X   X   X    X
XXXXX   XXXXXX   XXXX          X    X  X    X  X    X   XXXX      X

THE ADVENTURES OF LUKE VAXHACKER
          EPISODE N-1.0
AS WE ENTER THE SCENE, AN IMP
ERIAL MULTIPLEXER IS TRYING TO KILL A 
CONSULATE SHIP. MANY OF THEIR SIGNALS HA
VE GOTTEN THRU, AND RS232 DECIDES IT'S 
TIME TO FORK OFF A NEW PROCESS BEFOR
E THIS OLD SHIP IS DESTROYED. HIS 
COMPANION, 3CPU IS FOLLOWING HIM ONLY B
ECAUSE HE APPEARS TO KNOW WHERE HE IS 
GOING...

  "I'M GOING TO REGRET THIS!" CRIE
D 3CPU, AS HE FOLLOWED RS232 INTO THE 
BUFFER. RS232 CLOSED THE PIPES, MADE TH
E SYS CALL, AND THEIR PROCESS DETACHED 
ITSELF FROM THE BURNING SHELL OF THE SHI
P.

  THE COMMANDER OF THE IMPERIAL M
ULTIPLEXER WAS QUITE PLEASED WITH THE 
ATTACK. "ANOTHER PROCESS JUST FORKED, SI
R. INSTRUCTIONS?" ASKED THE LIEUTENANT 
"HOLD YOUR FIRE. THAT LAST POWER FAILU
RE MUST HAVE CAUSED A TRAP THRU ZERO. 
IT'S NOT USING ANY CPU TIME, SO DON'T WA
STE A SIGNAL ON IT."

  "WE CAN'T SEEM TO FIND THE DAT
A FILE ANYWHERE, LORD VADIC." "WHAT 
ABOUT THAT FORKED PROCESS? IT COULD HAV
E BEEN HOLDING THE CHANNEL OPEN, AND 
JUST PAUSING. IF ANY LINKS EXIST, I W
ANT THEM REMOVED OR MADE INACCESSIBLE. 
NCHECK THE ENTIRE FILE SYSTEM 'TIL IT'S
 FOUND, AND NICE IT -20 IF YOU HAVE 
TO."

  MEANWHILE, IN OUR WANDERING PRO
CESS... "ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN PTRACE 
THIS THING WITHOUT CAUSING A CORE DUMP?"
 QUERIED 3CPU TO RS232. "THIS THING'S 
BEEN STRIPPED AND I'M IN NO MOOD TO 
TRY AND DEBUG IT." THE LONE PROCESS 
FINISHED EXECUTION, ONLY TO FIND OUR FR
IENDS DUMPED ON A LONELY FILE SYSTEM, 
WITH THE SETUID INODE STORED SAFELY IN
 RS232. NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, 
THEY WANDERED AROUND UNTIL THE JAWAS GRA
BBED THEM.

  ENTER OUR HERO, LUKE VAXHACKER
, WHO WAS OUT TO GET SOME REPLACEMENT 
PARTS FOR HIS UNCLE. THE JAWAS WANTED T
O SELL HIM 3CPU, BUT 3CPU DIDN'T KNOW 
HOW TO TALK DIRECTLY TO AN 11/40 WITH RS
TS, SO LUKE STILL NEEDED SOME SORT OF 
INTERFACE FOR 3CPU TO CONNECT TO. "HOW
 ABOUT THIS LITTLE RS232 UNIT?" ASKED 
3CPU. "I'VE DEALT WITH HIM MANY TIME BE
FORE, AND HE DOES AN EXCELLENT JOB AT 
KEEPING HIS BITS STRAIGHT." LUKE WAS P
RESSED FOR TIME, SO HE TOOK 3CPU'S 
ADVICE AND THE THREE LEFT BEFORE THEY CO
ULD GET SWAPPED OUT.

HOWEVER, RS232 WAS NOT THE TYPE TO ST
AY PUT ONCE YOU REMOVE THE RETAINING 
SCREWS. HE PROMPTLY SCURRIED OFF INTO T
HE DESERTED DISK SPACE. "GREAT!" CRIED 
LUKE, "NOW I'VE GOT THIS LITTLE TIN BO
X WITH THE ONLY LINK TO THAT FILE OFF 
FLOATING IN THE FREE DISK SPACE. WELL, 
 3CPU, WE BETTER GO FIND HIM BEFORE HE 
GETS ALLOCATED BY SOMEONE ELSE." THE TWO
 SET OFF, AND FINALLY TRACED RS232 TO 
THE HOME OF PDP-1 KENOBE, WHO WAS BUSILY
 TRYING TO RUN AN ICHECK ON THE LITTLE 
RS UNIT. "IS THIS THING YOURS? HIS IND
IRECT ADDRESSES ARE ALL GOOFED UP, AND 
THE SIZE IS GARGANTIOUS. LEAVE THINGS L
IKE THIS ON THE LOOSE, AND YOU'LL WIND 
UP WITH FILE DUMPS EVERYWHERE. HOWEVER
, I THINK I'VE GOT HIM FIXED UP. IT 
SEEMS THAT HE HAS A LINK TO A DATA FILE
 ON THE ARE-EM STAR. THIS COULD HELP 
THE REBEL CAUSE." "I DON'T CARE ABOUT T
HAT," SAID LUKE. "I'M JUST TRYING TO 
OPTIMIZE MY UNCLE'S SCHEDULER."

  OH, FORGET ABOUT THAT. DEC VADIC
, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FATHER'S 
DEATH, HAS PROBABLY ALREADY DESTROYED HI
S FARM IN SEARCH OF THIS LITTLE RS232. 
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE THIS PLACE, J
OIN THE REBEL CAUSE, AND BECOME A UNIX 
WIZARD! I KNOW A GUY BY THE NAME OF CON
 SOLO, WHO'LL FLY US TO THE REBEL BASE 
AT A PRICE..."

---------------------------------------

  LUKE HAD GROWN UP ON AN OUT OF T
HE WAY TERMINAL CLUSTER WHOSE NATIVES 
SPOKE ONLY BASIC, BUT EVEN HE COULD RECO
GNIZE AN OLD ASR-33.

"IT NEEDS AN EIA CONVERSION AT LEAST," S
NIFFED 3CPU, WHO WAS (AS USUAL) TRYING 
TO DO SEVERAL THINGS AT ONCE. LIGHT FL
ASHED IN CON SOLO'S EYES AS HE WHIRLED 
TO FACE THE PARALLEL PROCESSOR.

"I'VE ADDED A FEW JUMPERS. THE MILLIAM
P FALCON CAN RUN CURRENT LOOPS AROUND 
ANY IMPERIAL TTY FIGHTER. SHE'S FAST ENO
UGH FOR YOU."

"WHO'S YOUR CO-PILOT?" ASKED PDP-1 KENOB
IE.

"TWO BACCO, HERE, MY BOOKIE."

"ODDS AREN'T GOOD," SAID THE BROWNISH LU
MP BESIDE HIM, AND THEN FELL SILENT, 
OR OVER. LUKE COULDN'T TELL WHICH WAY WA
S UP UNDERNEATH ALL THOSE LEAVES.

SUDDENLY, RS232 STARTED SPACING WILDL
Y. THEY TURNED JUST IN TIME TO SEE A 
WRITE CYCLE COMING DOWN THE UNIBUS TO
WARD THEM. "IMPERIAL BUS SIGNALS!" 
SHOUTED CON SOLO. "LET'S BOOT THIS POPSI
CLE STAND! TOOIE, SET CLOCK FAST!"

"OK, CON," SAID LUKE, "YOU SAID THIS 
CRATE WAS FAST ENOUGH. GET US OUT OF 
HERE!"

"SHUT UP KID! TWO BACCO, PREPARE TO MAK
E THE JUMP INTO SYSTEM SPACE! I'LL TRY 
TO KEEP THEIR BUFFERS FULL."

AS THE BOOKIE BEGAN TO COMPUTE THE VECTO
RS INTO LOW CORE, SPURIOUS CHARACTERS 
APPEARED AROUND THE MILLIAMP FALCON. "TH
EY'RE FIRING!" SHOUTED LUKE "CAN'T YOU 
DO SOMETHING?"

"MAKING THE JUMP TO SYSTEM SPACE TAKES 
TIME, KID. ONE MISSED CYCLE AND YOU 
COULD COME DOWN RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A
 PACK OF STACK FRAMES!"

"THREE TO FIVE WE CAN GO NOW," SAID THE 
BOOKIE.

BRIGHT CHUNKS OF POSITION INDEPENDENT
 CODE FLASHED BY THE COCKPIT AS THE 
MILLIAMP FALCON JUMPED THROUGH THE KERNA
L PAGE TABLES. AS THE CREW BREATHED A 
SIGH OF RELIEF, THE BOOKIE STARTED PAYIN
G OFF BETS.

"NOT BAD, FOR AN ACCOUSTICALLY COUPLED 
NETWORK," REMARKED 3CPU. "THOUGH THERE 
WAS A LITTLE PHASE JITTER AS WE CHANGED 
PARITY."


------------
* DEC, PDP, VAX, AND UNIBUS ARE TRADEMAR
KS OF DIGITAL EQUIPMENT CORP.

TO BE CONTINUED...